Thursday!

I am so glad today is Thursday! I'm enjoying life so much right now, I can't even believe how happy I am. Last weekend was one of the most fun I have had in forever and this weekend is shaping up to be just as enjoyable! I think I might end up trying to canoe or kayak, maybe some bowling, a softball game and who knows what else!

I am so glad the weather is starting to warm up. It's wonderful! I need to go shopping though to buy some new summer clothes to fit my new body! I'm still working out and eating healthy, the journey continues...

I'm loving life!

Sunday

This past Sunday was truly a special day. I have never experienced God in such a real, loving way as I did. I have never heard him so loud and clear in his love for me. I have been extremely sad about having to leave my church of 20 years. The past two Sundays I have attended a different church and it has been extremely hard for me because I am missing my home church and it breaks my heart. However the saying that when God closes a door He opens a window has never felt more real to me after Sunday.

During the praise and worship portion of the sermon I was focusing so much on the negative that this church wasn’t BBC and I was being consumed with hurt and anger. I was tearing up and feeling sorry for myself when out of nowhere the pastor jumped on the stage and started talking. He said that God had been laying something on his heart and he just had to get it out there. He said there was a girl in the congregation, he didn’t know who it was, but that her heart was breaking and she was so sad. He said he didn’t know why she was so heartbroken, whether it be from a marriage or relationship ending to something else, but that she needed love and prayer from the congregation. It was like a lightning bolt shooting straight through me. God used this pastor to speak directly to me, to tell me that I wasn’t alone and that He loved me. I know He was talking to me. He wanted me to know that He was there, that He felt my pain and that He wanted me to feel His love surrounding me. I feel like He was telling me I was in the right place. I have never experienced God this powerfully, it was awesome!

Halway There!

I hate to wish my life away but I am so looking forward to the weekend! Even if there isn't anything exciting planned I still get pumped up for Friday afternoon when I get to go home and relax. This weekend however there is a bit of fun planned! I think my mom and I are going to grab some Mexican food (yummmmmm) and then head up to the casino for a bit. I hope my dad is able to come to, I feel like I never see him cause he is so busy with work!

I got sucked into a Sex in the City marathon on TV last night. Even though I've seen every single episode (and the content is questionable at best) I still watched like it was the first time I'd ever seen it, crying when poor Charlotte found out she couldn't have a baby and being happy that Miranda didn't go through with the abortion. Yeah, I have serious issues with overly caring about fictional characters.

I recently started reading Gone Girl and so far it is ok. I've read reviews saying that it is impossible to put down but thus far I haven't gotten to that point yet. I am interested though so it's not a bust, just not a stay up till 4 in the morning type book...at least not yet. Maybe once I get further into it I will become as obsessed as everyone else was.

I bought two pounds of strawberries today. Two pounds! And I don't even like strawberries that much! However, berries are supposed to be excellent for you so I figure that four or five strawberries for a morning or afternoon snack would be a good choice, probably better than chips or chocolate which is what I usually crave (but I resist, promise!). Tomorrow I need to go to Trader Joe's and pick up some more peanut butter. That's probably the only thing I splurge on as far as not bargain shopping but the peanut butter I buy is worth every penny! Try it. No seriously, you should.

Typical Tuesday!

I tried a new church this week, as much as it pains me to have to leave my church of over 20 years it has become an unfortunate necessity. Even though I have spent time upset and distraught over this decision I am trying to look at the positive and see the new doors that God can open up for me. My previous church had a very small number of people in my age group, but the church I went to Sunday was full of young people! I am trying to look at things in a flattering light and see this as an opportunity, as well as trying to get excited about it, trying being the key word. I'm not always the best at pulling myself out of funks but I think once I start going regularly I will be able to see God's hand in this whole process.

I am still waiting to hear if I got the job I interviewed for a month ago. I don't believe I got it which is sad to me because I got my hopes up. I tried so hard to tell myself not to get too caught up in the idea that the job was mine and in the end I didn't do so well. Mom keeps trying to remind me that all things happen in God's time and surely there is something better up ahead. I know she's right, I'm just impatient! I guess this is God's way of giving me practice at waiting on His timing instead of my own.

I am continuing on my weight loss journey and it feels so great. It's still hard and I don't always enjoy the working out but in the end I feel amazing and it is so worth it. I've been experimenting with quinoa and trying all sorts of different soy yogurts (the silk kind is super yummy and has 6 grams of protein!) as well as trying veggie burgers from different brands. I bought some tofu noodles that I am excited to try tonight. They are basically tofu in the shape of spaghetti. We shall see how that goes... My favorite recipe right now is super easy and it can feed me three times! Just in case anyone out there wants to give it a try I shall share it with you:

2 Tofurkey Italian Sausages
1 Bag Steamable Brown Rice (plain or with vegetables, just no added sauces)
I Bag of Krogers Frozen 3 Pepper and Onion Blend
1-2 Tablespoons of Newmans Own Lite Honey Mustard Dressing

I start by throwing the rice in the microwave while I warm up the peppers and onions in a skillet. While they are cooking I cut the sausages in half and then into smaller pieces so that it can cook faster and all the pieces get warm all the way through. After the sausages are chopped I add them to the skillet and increase the heat to medium-high (ish) then put in the rice. After everything is heated through I section it out into 3 equal portions, refrigerate two of them and then add my dressing to the one I'm eating.

It's so good! And easy. And if you buy the Tofurkey Sausages from Trader Joe's they are significantly cheaper than if you buy them at Kroger...just saying.

I am in the process of trying to adopt a pug from a rescue group. There is one in particular that I have fallen in love with. Her name is Frankie and she is fat and adorable. The application process is very thorough, I had to have personal references, vet references, fill out a lengthy application and I have to have a home visit! They want to make super sure that I'm good to fur babies. We will see how it goes, I'm going to have to start really saving if I'm going to be able to afford the adoption fee, but it will be worth it when I get my little fat pug baby! My current fat pug baby needs a buddy :)

Sunday's Sermon

This past Sunday my Pastor preached a wonderful sermon. This is my summary of what I learned from it J

Faithful Hearts-

Matthew 5:27-30

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”

This Sunday our sermon was about temptation. Pastor Kevin started with this verse from Jesus and pointed out that God is not merely concerned with the faithfulness or our bodies but also with the faithfulness of our hearts. If we think lustful thoughts we are guilty of adultery, if we hate others we are guilty of murder. God is not concerned with whether the act is followed through on; He is concerned with our hearts.

We focused on lust for a portion of this sermon and it is important to define lust. In a loose definition “lust is not a passing glance, but is a willful stare that creates arousal.” There is a difference between lust and attraction. Attraction to others is natural, however lust is a sin. Lust happens when you begin to see someone as an object rather than a person.

Lust is a selfish act. It is seeing others as a mean for our own pleasure; it is using someone and dehumanizing them, not seeing them for the creation of God that they are. Habitual lust gradually destroys our ability to love because it is training us to be selfish. Love is a selfless act, therefore the more we lust the more we are conditioned to do the opposite of love. Even within marriage lust is not normal, healthy or good. When you lust after your spouse you are seeing them as an object whose purpose is for your pleasure, not in a loving self-sacrificing way. Love serves, lust uses.

Our culture is saturated with lust. It is constantly perpetuated by television shows, movies and music that teach us that lust is natural. Lust is a distortion of sexuality, not a normal part of it. How are we to deal with this when it surrounds us? We must run from the temptations shown through pop culture and do as Jesus commands by taking sin seriously and doing whatever it takes to stay away from it.

Jesus takes sin so seriously that he tells us to cut off a hand if it causes us to sin. While we do not take this literally it is important to see what the meaning is behind it. Jesus is telling us that is would be better to go through life with only one hand than it is to sin and be cast into Hell. It is better to go through life with only one eye than it is to sin!

Romans 13:13-14

13 Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. 14 Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh

We must not let ourselves indulge in thoughts that are sinful. If you spend your time consumed with thoughts of doing something sinful then you are far more likely to indulge in the actual action. For instance if you are so angry and you want to tell someone what you really think (in not kind words) and you spend your time thinking of all the things you wish you could say to them you are much more likely to actually tell the person off.

1 Corinthians 15:33

³³ Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

We as sinners often times walk right into temptation, we rarely “fall” into temptation. We often times willingly put ourselves in situations in which we are tempted to sin! If you know your friends are going to a movie that will have subject matter you disagree with don’t go. If you know that when you spend time with certain friends you are more likely to drink avoid situations with them in which drinking is a possibility. Often times you may need to reconsider hanging out with these types of people recreationally at all.

God always provides a way out of our temptation; however our problem as sinners is that we often ignore the exit sign. If you were in a fire the first thing you would do would be to look for the illuminated EXIT to get out, why do we not take sin this seriously?! We have to be willing to do whatever it takes to defeat temptation and sin. We must be willing to stop doing the things that cause us to stumble, whether that be watching movies and TV shows with sinful content, reading books that are smut, hanging out with friends that, while fun, may lead us down paths we needn’t go.

Galatians 6:1-2

 6 Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. ² Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

We must surround ourselves with other Christians we will support us and hold us accountable. It is important to be guided by someone who has love and respect for you who will gently remind you of God’s desire for your life and redirect you when you have gone off path.

Romans 6:1-2

What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? ² By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?

Do we love ourselves as much as Jesus loves us? He loved us enough to die! We must do whatever we have to do to keep ourselves from sinning because sin will destroy us! We must love ourselves enough to not ride down the road to Hell. God loved us enough to send His Son to us to give us redemption; we must not behave as though His love and sacrifice mean nothing to us. He cherishes us and loves us; we must see ourselves in this light. We are beloved children of His; we are not slaves to temptation.

Thursday!

I am so glad it is Thursday! I heard once that there was research done that people were actually happier on Thursdays than any other day of the week because it Friday is coming. Crazy! You'd think Friday would be the favorite day, but I guess anticipation of Friday can make someone pretty happy too.

I am officially down to 95 pounds lost from my heaviest. Only 5 pounds to go until I hit the big milestone! I have never felt better, this is by far the best shape I have ever been in and I am so happy! I'm struggling to find recipes and foods that I enjoy and are quick and healthy. I've been in a bit of a food rut because my time is so rushed when I get home and you aren't supposed to eat after 7. So I end up eating soup and veggie meatballs or tofurkey sausages with a bag of frozen peppers. I need to prepare my meals on Sunday and then just heat them up, but who wants to do that?!

I haven't been able to write as much because our Internet access is restricted more at work now and my nights are so crazy! It makes me sad, I love to be able to write down all my thoughts, but on the plus side there is more work to do so my days don't drag by quite as slowly.

I went to Nashville this past weekend for one of my bff's grandma's birthday party. I had a pretty good time. It's always nice to get away for a bit and not have to worry about any of the responsibilities of home. I look forward to going back soon, maybe this time I wont get sick and we will have more motivation to actually go do something. We were all INCREDIBLY lazy, as in naps in the middle of the day, bed by 10:30 lazy! It was also lovely to see Scott's family. They have always been so sweet and kind to me and they haven't seen me since I've lost all my weight so it was incredibly uplifting to see such positive reactions. And there was cake...yum!

The weather has been incredibly bipolar here lately. One day it's gorgeous outside, the next it's rainy and gross, then gorgeous again, then cold, then windy. Kentucky weather is crazy! On the plus side it keeps me on my toes about what to wear. It's getting to be that time for more shopping since summer is coming and all my old summer close are too big. Bummer...just kidding! I got a bathing suit the other day at Gabriel Brothers that I am dying to wear! It was over $100.00 in the original store it came from, I got it for $13! You just can't beat that!

Can I just talk for a second about how obsessed I am with food documentaries? It's kind of dorky but they are so interesting! Makes me really want to try even harder to do a plant based/whole foods diet. And shop locally. Farmers Market here I come! I wish I could plant my own garden, but let's be honest...Ain't nobody got time for that! :)

BEAUTIFUL!

It's halfway through the week! Yay! This weather is absolutely gorgeous, it makes it so hard to stay inside.  On the plus side though I only have to work a half day today because I have a doctor appointment. So at least I get to be out and about for a bit. I should have just taken the whole day, it would have been so nice to spend the day at Jacobson Park swinging on the playground while watching little kiddos run around.

I am excited about tonight. I am introducing a friend to BUTI tonight and I think she is going to love it. Last week so was much fun. It was exhausting and hard, but I thoroughly enjoyed it!

I am looking forward to this weekends so much. I took off Monday so it's a three day weekend which equals a four day work week and I get to visit with one of my bff's and his family. It will be nice to get out of Kentucky for a few days, go down to Music City and explore. I hope I get to hit up their discount book store and check out Urban Outfitters. And maybe a Coach outlet of course!

Sitting in my Doctors office right now and they have the most hideous mural on the wall. I know that sounds awful but it truly disturbs me! It's a bunch of women looking at their reflection in a mirror but there is one woman located directly in the middle and she is RED. Not a little red, I'm talking on fire, satan red. It makes no sense at all!

I am in the best mood today. This weather does wonders for everyone and a great night of sleep makes everything look better. I passed out so quickly after turning out the lights last night, it was bliss. Then I got to wake up (fairly) naturally this morning which is always bettter than having to hear the dreaded alarm go off.

I am missing my parents something awful! I hate that my dad has to work himself so hard! He loves it though so that is a real positive, and he does work harder than he probably has to, but that's why I respect him. He does everything he does 100%, he doesn't slack off at all.  If you are a gardener make sure you buy Bonnie Plants, and buy them from the Meijer, Walmart or Lowes in Lexington, Georgetown, Florence, or any of the providers in between Lex-Florence. Those are my Daddy's stores!